Fun Pet Jokes:
The Fun Pet Jokes page offers you entertaining jokes about dogs, cats, animals and all other pets. HYave a great joke you want to share with us? Just email us and we will add it to our collection.
Funny Pets
Pet Joke of the day
A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, "We've got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning." Her husband replies, "Well, lots of dogs can do that." The wife responded, "But we've never subscribed to any!"
A friend took her dog to the parlor for a haircut, and asked what it would cost. Being told that it would cost her $60, she was shocked.
"I only pay 50 bucks for my own haircut!"
The groomer replied,
"But you don't bite, do you?!"
Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at 4:44 A.M. by his ringing telephone.
"Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an angry voice.
Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up.
The next morning at precisely 4:44 A.M., Bernard called his neighbor back.
"Good morning, Mr. William. Just called to say that I don't have a dog."
A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was playing with extraordinary performance.
"This is a very smart dog.", the man commented.
"Not so smart," said one of the players. "every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail."
My dog chewed the tongue on one of my new, expensive running shoes. I hoped to save my investment, so I took the sneakers to a shoe repair shop. I placed them on the counter and told the man, "My dog got hold of this."
The repairman picked up the shoe, looked it over, and placed it back down on the counter. "Well, what do you recommend?" I asked.
He looked at me and replied, "Give your dog the other shoe."
A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?"
"No."
A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.
"That's not my dog."
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen."
"Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."
